This post is done in partnership with StressHealth.org, an initiative of the Center for Youth Wellness, but the opinions expressed are my own.

For the past two months, I've shared my own stress health story and also a story about how my husband grew up. But this month, I want to share how stress can affect children. Just as a reminder, toxic stress can result from Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and can affect lifelong behavior and even have lasting and tragic consequences.

A few years back, our family decided to go horseback riding for the first time. I called a few stables to see if they could accommodate us for the day and one stable said they could. We drove there, picked our horses and even brushed them before mounting up.

Mary mounted up with the stable owner since she was only seven years old at the time. Paul and I both had our own horses and we all set off on our ride. The ride was very nice at first because it was through the woods, but during the middle of it, Paul and I both noticed that the horses really liked to charge. It was getting harder to keep them under control, but the stable owner wanted to go around one more time.

After the second time around, we got to a clearing where the horses could see the barn up a steep hill. When my horse saw the barn, he took off at full speed uphill. I knew if I stood up to pull the reins, I might fall off and break my back or neck. So I held onto the horse's neck as tight as I could and pulled the reins. But it wasn't working, and I started slipping off to the right side of the horse. Just then, my DSLR camera that was around my neck flew up and hit me straight in the nose. And then everything went black. When I woke up, I was on the ground and blood was running down my entire face. I started screaming for Paul, and he jumped off his horse with such force he broke his reigns in half. When he got to me, he knew my nose was broken. Mary had witnessed the entire thing. They both got me to the car and sped to the hospital where I found out I had a concussion, a broken nose and a broken rib. 

After that accident, Mary was never the same. As she got older, she started getting scared if I left the house without her. Now it is at the point where I can't leave her. I know she's scared that if I leave, I could get hurt again.

This is a "tolerable" stress that we have to help her work through together. It's been years since the accident, and healing a stress doesn't happen overnight. I do know, however, that with our help, she will overcome it. A tolerable stress is a response to a serious problem, like an accident. When there is a loving adult there to help, that will calm the child's stress response. In this case, me and my husband are able to help. 

There is another kind of stress called toxic stress. Toxic stress is triggered by childhood trauma such as abuse or neglect and can persist into adulthood; without intervention, it can have severe and lasting effects. When I first watched this video from Stress Health, I immediately understood how devastating it could be.

 

In the video, the boy is stuffing all the baggage from his bad childhood into the closet. And that's how so many of us treat our past ,too. We bottle everything up inside until it has nowhere to go. With Mary, we were able to talk about how she felt, and we told her it's okay to cry. Mindfulness is an important tool in coping with toxic stress.

You can get rid of toxic stress but it's not an overnight thing. It will take time and care.

If you think you or your children might be suffering from toxic stress, you can learn more about it at the Stress Health website.

Cool weather has come, which is so very exciting! In Georgia, the fall scenery seems to have been on pause, but over the past week or so, the oranges, yellows, and reds in the trees finally seem to be showing off their beauty. To me, this means that the holiday season is finally upon us and I truly think that it is one of the best times of the year.

Why? Because everyone just seems happier. No matter what you celebrate, who you celebrate with, and what your traditions are each year, this time of year just brings out the best in people. In an effort to start spreading that joy and happiness early, I wanted to write an article on 5 ways to prepare for Hanukkah. Check out my best tips here:

Get Your Shopping Done Early

I always prefer to get my shopping finished early because around the holidays, the crowds are always wild and I personally prefer to shop in peace. Nowadays, it is very easy to get all of your shopping done over the internet, so you don’t even have to leave your house. That’s a good way to avoid the crowds if you don’t want to shop early. For grocery shopping, you have a few ways that you can avoid the crowds, as well. For starters, with Instacart, you are able to place your order and have it delivered to your home. I believe you are also able to set a delivery for a future date, which is always nice to help you plan in advance. Another option would be to do Kroger or Walmart orders. The store will bring it out to your car for you, which is such a nice perk when it is cold, when you are busy, or when your kids are sick or tired.

Prepare Your House For Guests 

People will more than likely be coming over to your home all throughout the holidays, so make sure you prepare it by not only doing your deep winter clean (sometimes this is better than a spring clean!), getting your menorah and candles ready, and by making sure you have enough essentials for your guests. I always make at least one store run for essentials such as pillows, sheets, towels, toilet paper, etc.

Create A List Of Recipes 

I’m sure you have some tried and true recipes stored away, so make sure you get them out and make a list of what you are making during Hanukkah. Staying organized is essential for having a great holiday while staying somewhat sane, as well. While it is fun trying new recipes out, sometimes your basics can be winners, especially when it comes to family traditions.

Get Children Involved 

There are so many fun ways to get your children involved in Hanukkah, but one of my favorite ways is an idea I received from Clay Today. In 2017, they said, “In an effort to welcome in the holiday of Hanukkah, which officially begins Dec. 12, Rabbi Shmuly Feldman, the co-director of the Chabad of Clay County, with help from the Lowe’s near Orange Park, hosted a Menorah-making event last Sunday. As nearly a dozen kids made their way to the back of the lumber aisle in Lowe’s, they were treated to donuts, selfie stick fun and the story of Hanukkah.

The event began with donut decorating. Sure, donuts are a delicious food that most people love but they also have significance with the holiday.

“Because of the significance of oil, we bring in the holidays by eating foods cooked in oil,” Feldman said. “So, potato pancakes, donuts and other foods fried in oil usually accompany our meals around this time of the year.”

After decorating and eating their donuts, the children were able to don a kippah – also known as a yarmulke – and take a selfie. Once everyone’s selfies were done, Feldman asked them to join him for the story of Hanukkah.

Prepare Financially 

Between getting your home ready for guests, buying presents, and hosting parties, Hanukkah, just like all other holidays can be very costly if you let it get that way. I understand that you want the ‘best’ Hanukkah ever, but occasionally times can be tough, or your payday doesn’t fall on a convenient day. If this is true for you, but you still want to go all out for your children (which is definitely understandable), you might want to think about a 30-day collateral loan. Chapes-JPL, located out of Atlanta, Georgia offers low-interest 30-day collateral loans on jewelry, gold, watches, diamonds, cars, and handbags. “Chapes-JPL has one simple goal, to provide affordable asset loans on jewelry, gold, diamonds, watches, and other valuable assets, at a low rate and at fair value. We offer loans as low as $100 and as high as $5 Million at some of the best interest loan rates in the industry. Unlike typical pawn shops that lend at extremely high rates (and in public storefronts for the world to see), Chapes-JPL provides loans at a low rate and in private financial offices.” In business for 38+ years, Chapes-JPL has built their reputation because of their trust and security, experience, fast cash, discreet and confidential location, and their amazing interest rates (as low as 3%!).

How are you preparing for Hanukkah? I’d love to know in the comments below!

Mary's birthday was just over a month ago and it was the first time she had it at the bowling alley. She wanted a really special outfit to wear so thanks to Eshakti, she was able to customize her dress to exactly what she wanted.

She decided on the cotton check and cotton knit belted shirtdress which seemed to be her favorite. Then she customized the size to her exact measurements. She made the dress calf length and added 3/4 inch sleeves. And lastly, she added a peter pan collar.

Eshakti is an amazing site because you pick out the item you like and then they will make it just for you. You can pick the length, sleeves, collar, etc until it's just right for you.

If you've never tried Eshakti, make sure to check them out!

Last month I shared about how the Race for the Cure was coming to Chattanooga. The race was on October 14th and it ended up having a great turnout. I remember participating in my first Race for the Cure when I was fifteen years old with my mom in West Palm Beach, FL. My mom always thought it was important and I remember the feeling of proudness I had when we crossed the finish line together.



Breast cancer is the second most common kind of cancer in women, with skin cancer being the first. And about 1 in 8 women born today in the U.S. will get breast cancer at some point in their lives. That's a scary thought.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the annual campaign to increase awareness of the disease, offer information and support to those affected by breast cancer and raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. So what better month to have the Race for the Cure!

No one deserves to die from cancer and I believe a cure is out there. If you want to participate on your local Race for the Cure, you can check where your nearest race is.
Valpak has joined the community of bold companies that share in the vision of Susan G. Komen for a world without breast cancer. To amplify awareness around this common vision, Valpak will turn its Blue Envelope pink this October during Breast Cancer Awareness Month while also working to raise local awareness within the communities that they serve and funds in support of the fight to end breast cancer.

If you can't participate in a race, you can still help my donating towards the cause too. There is a cure out there for cancer and we need all the help we can get to find it.