Raising a child is not easy. Children are complex, like us, and need all sorts of guidance and freedoms, and challenges. Every parent hope that their child can grow up to become a well-adjusted adult who can live a happy life despite what the world might throw at them. Certain traits can contribute to the happiness and fulfillment achieved during a life.
It is up to a parent to prepare their young the best they can, but as many parents will tell you, 'there is no roadmap'. There are just so many variables in life that can change how a person develops. All you can do is try and parent the best you can to promote the healthiest behavior. Parenting does make a difference, no matter how much it might seem like coming up against insurmountable odds.
Without trying to come across like some Freudian shrink, it is true that the experiences a person has as a child deeply affect their development as an adult. Even seemingly trivial things can have a huge effect. This is not always a negative thing. Here are four ways in which parenting can help a child develop great traits that last for their entire lives.
Confidence
Confidence is an important trait for children to develop. It can involve a belief in oneself, a belief in others, or a belief in the way things work and coexist. To instill a sense of confidence in a child, a parent needs to have confidence in themselves and their ability to parent. Like many elements in parenting, the learning process is reciprocal: you will learn alongside your child. Developing confidence in your toddler can seem especially tricky. This is the stage during which your child is first testing the boundaries of their being and carving out an identity for themselves. It is also one of the stages during which a confident outlook can be made or broken. Reassurance during challenges is crucial in developing confidence at this stage.
Responsibility
Responsibility is one of the most important traits that a person can develop. Good parenting can help instill an understanding and appreciation of responsibility in a child that lasts a lifetime. Parents can help their children grow up to be responsible people by holding them responsible for their actions, encouraging them to take ownership of mistakes, and allowing them to work on solutions for challenges themselves.
It is important to understand that responsibility and obedience are two different things. Being overbearing in your rule-based disciplining of a child will not create a responsible person but rather a person dependent upon authority and discipline. A child needs to feel capable of making their own decisions to be truly responsible.
Tolerance
Good parenting can help a child understand the need for and positive implications of tolerance in society. Parents that espouse intolerant views to their children run the risk of raising a person with a stunted and twisted understanding of how the world works. Introduce your child to people of all kinds and ideas that challenge their perceptions of the world early on. This does not mean that you cannot instill a love of who you are.
Raising a child to be tolerant will also allow them to work together well with other children and be ready to understand other points of view. Instilling tolerance can be a journey for parents as much as it is for children. You might find that you know less about the world than you thought. Don't let that hold you back!
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence and understanding can often be cast to the wayside during the parenting process. Children raised in an emotionally cold or harsh environment can grow up to have real trouble understanding the world, have issues developing empathy, and struggle to form meaningful relationships.
According to the Gottman Relationship Institute, there are a few dos and don'ts for raising emotionally intelligent kids. Parents should recognize that negative emotions are a natural part of life and use these times of emotional negativity to discuss emotions with children and not scold a child for showing emotion. Parents should help their child address their emotions using a problem-solving process and talking openly. This will help them gain emotional autonomy and allow them to interrogate and explore complex feelings.
Whether you are a new parent or feel like you're struggling with some aspects, hopefully these four tips have given you some ideas on connecting with your child and instilling positive traits.
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